This virus that struck me down almost three weeks ago was particularly black. On the second week, I was somewhat better but could not find joy in anything. I could not write anything, could not enjoy my hot chocolate in the morning, nor even read. Now this was scary- I saw my day, my life looming before me with no ability to enjoy anything! I started to get worried, as I live a life of my creation- working from home, raising an 11 year-old daughter, NOT watching TV (we don’t have one by choice), and finding enjoyment from reading, writing, and walking in nature, with the occasional vacation thrown in. And there I found myself unable to rustle up any enthusiasm-a blah feeling that would not go away.

I turned on the radio during this period, and heard someone talking who caught my attention- talking about meeting Ram Dass in the late 1960’s and then going to India. I kept listening, loved the sound of his voice and his manner of talking and then heard some music that he played- kirtan music…it was wonderful. I felt my spirit lifting a bit… and I went to i-tunes and bought one of his, Krishna Das, CD’s.

And then I took myself to the library, and wandered about somewhat indifferently looking for something to read that would interest me. My eyes fell upon “Palace Walk” by Naguib Mahfouz. That seemed familiar to me- then I remembered that my eldest daughter had written her honors English thesis on it, and so I decided to bring it home. I curled up in my favourite chair, opened it up, and could not put it down…every moment that I could, I immersed myself into 1910 Cairo and the al-Sayyid family. I felt my energy being raised even more.

Gradually, over this third week, I am now enjoying my hot chocolate in the morning again. I am playing Krishna Das on my i-pod, and am on the second of the three books that make up the Cairo Trilogy. I even found a wonderful colouring book of mandalas, and on Tuesday, my husband, daughter and I each spent the evening colouring them in. My bright colours are one finally of enjoyment again, and with spring in the air, I am once again feeling a contentment that seemed so far away last week.

Advertisements