I can look back now at conflicts or difficult events that have happened in my life with a new perspective. Those events have greatly contributed to making me the person I am today. Those great contrasts caused me to send out “rockets of desire” as Abraham calls them- as I clearly saw what I did not want, I began to formulate in my mind what I DID want.

    For example, I studied many years ago to become a Registered Nurse. I loved being in the hospital and learning about the human body and helping those who were suffering. But what I really loved most was being where the babies were being born; however, when I witnessed my first few deliveries, I was appalled! What a terrible way to give birth and for the infants to come into the world- what a sterile, cold, and noisy place the “delivery rooms” were- I am talking about the early 1970’s in North America.

    Five years later I had my first child in that environment as there were almost no other options available. Even though I brought my quilt and pillows from home to cozy things up a bit, it was still an “operating room” mentality, and with nurses and doctors I barely knew. Our health care system had outlawed midwives, and had successfully “medicalized” childbirth

    So I experienced the contrast now first hand. I ended up feeling very, very unhappy about the birth experience (not about my lovely firstborn!), and I must have put out quite the rockets of desire!!

    For within the year, I was invited to teach childbirth classes. And within the next 6 months, I was invited to join a fledgling group of parents who wanted to see midwives be allowed to assist birthing families. And within 4 years, I found myself apprenticing with an amazing “underground ” midwife, and for 5 years I studied and learned myself how to be a midwife. And within 9 more years, I was able to be part of, and witness, the legalization of midwives and see them be completely integrated into our health care system.

    Now along the way, I had joy and grief: one of my clients lost her baby during the labour- out of that very difficult experience for us all, came HUGE desires to really see midwives legally practicing. So added to my desire came the desire of these amazing parents who saw the “cracks” in the system we had.

    As a result of many people-midwives, parents, doctors- women can now have their babies at home or in a hospital with experienced midwives. Those babies are now arriving into loving hands, into a cozy environment, and my desires have now been manifested. I no longer have the privilege of attending births, but I eagerly anticipate my first- born daughter (or it may be her younger sister first!) having my first grandchild…….

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